Glossary of Terms
Conversation Concepts
Active Listening Fully focusing on the speaker, showing you're engaged, and reflecting back what you hear. Goes beyond just waiting for your turn to talk.
Defensiveness Protective response when feeling threatened. Often involves denying, counter-attacking, or shutting down.
De-escalation Reducing the intensity of a conflict. Lowering the emotional temperature to enable productive dialogue.
Flooding State of emotional overwhelm where the nervous system is activated and productive thinking becomes difficult.
I-Statement Expressing experience from your perspective rather than accusing. "I feel frustrated when..." rather than "You always..."
Impact vs. Intent The distinction between what someone intended to do and the effect their action had. Impact is real even when intent was good.
Repair The process of restoring connection after a rupture in relationship. Includes acknowledgment, apology, and changed behavior.
Rupture A break in relational connection. Can be small (a misunderstanding) or large (a betrayal).
Stonewalling Refusing to engage in conversation. Withdrawing, shutting down, or becoming unresponsive.
Validation Acknowledging someone's feelings or perspective as understandable, even if you don't agree with their conclusions.
Communication Terms
Closed Question A question that can be answered with yes/no or a single word. Less useful for exploration.
Open Question A question that invites elaboration. "How did that feel?" rather than "Were you upset?"
Reflection/Mirroring Restating what someone said to show understanding. "It sounds like you're feeling..."
Reframing Presenting information from a different angle or perspective.
Third Story A neutral perspective on a conflict that includes both parties' views. Often closer to truth than either individual story.
Psychological Concepts
Amygdala Hijack When the emotional brain takes over before the rational brain can engage. Results in reactive rather than thoughtful responses.
Cognitive Distortions Thinking patterns that distort reality. Examples: catastrophizing, all-or-nothing thinking, mind-reading.
Emotional Regulation The ability to manage emotional responses. Being able to experience feelings without being controlled by them.
Fight/Flight/Freeze Stress responses to perceived threat. Fighting, escaping, or becoming immobile.
Projection Attributing your own feelings or motivations to someone else.
Triggers Stimuli that activate strong emotional responses, often connected to past experiences.
Conflict Terms
Avoidance Dodging conflict or difficult topics. Often increases long-term problems while reducing short-term discomfort.
Collaboration Working together to find solutions that work for all parties.
Compromise Each party giving up something to reach agreement.
Contempt Treating someone as beneath consideration. Eye-rolling, mocking, sneering. One of the most destructive conflict behaviors.
Natural Consequences Allowing results to follow naturally from actions, rather than imposing punishment.
Positional Bargaining Arguing for your position rather than exploring underlying interests.
Relationship Terms
Attachment Style Patterns of relating to others developed in childhood. Can be secure, anxious, avoidant, or disorganized.
Bid for Connection An attempt to get attention, affirmation, or connection from someone. Can be verbal or nonverbal.
Boundary A limit that protects your wellbeing. Defines what you will and won't accept.
Codependency Excessive reliance on another person for emotional needs and identity.
Enmeshment Lack of healthy boundaries between individuals, where identities become entangled.
Gaslighting Manipulating someone into questioning their own reality, memory, or perceptions.
Workplace Terms
360 Feedback Performance feedback gathered from supervisors, peers, and direct reports.
Constructive Feedback Feedback given with intent to help improvement, focused on specific behaviors.
Performance Conversation Discussion about job performance, expectations, and development.
Psychological Safety Environment where people feel safe to take interpersonal risks without fear of negative consequences.
AI Terms
Prompt Instructions given to AI to generate a response.
Role Play Having AI take on a character or persona to simulate a conversation.
Simulation Using AI to practice scenarios before real-world application.